• The real Ahh Haa Moment

    The real Ahh Haa Moment

    I finally remembered what it was that I was thinking about for days and days…. here goes.

    Pretty sure this jumps around… read it and listen to me talk while you read… it might make more sense…

    After minutes, hours, days, and week/s of reflection of LIFE after the sudden and tragic death of my good friend Kyla DuPont, I have come to realize numerous things.

    These things, plural, are only ONE thing… to be HAPPY.

    I read through journals from 1990 to the current.  I failed to keep up with the actual writing in them past 2005.  They have turned into note pads… anyway… I was a depressed kid into my 20’s.  There was something inside of me that could not escape and kept me in the dark…

    I spent many amazing years with Kyla and her boys to discover what had been lurking inside of me for 30 years… exercise.  It was during one of the times that Kyla and i had split and I became depressed…the only thing that lifted me was exercise… when we got back together at the end of 2005 I was on my Highest HIGH and felt amazing… life had changed and i gave up everything to be with her and to make sure that i had done all that i could to see that every effort had been made to succeed….I stopped all triathlon and virtually all exercise…I put on 25lbs and fell into depression… relationship was failing and my health was going down with it… I gave up being ME…  i was willing to do this for US to succeed…I was in LOVE with her and I was certain of IT…  insert the if you love something let it go free…

    ….. tangent…

    while going through my journals I found the same pattern… I was depressed and was taking natural mood enhancers that seemed to work…. it was not the supplements … it was exercise… endorphins have been and will always be the greatest drug for me…its realizing that i had control over my own happiness by exerting myself… PLAYING…. and staying Happy…

     

    Kyla is gone and GOD is enjoying her company … I was happiest in my life when I was with Kyla and exercising!  I will love her and miss her for the rest of my life!   …

     

    I am 100% certain I want to feel that kind of LOVE again and that Feeling and level of Happy again

Leave a reply

Cancel reply